Scandal rocks Vic vinduro scene as war of words erupts

In a similar fashion to Watergate, and indeed the recent Peter Slipper scandal, the Victorian Vinduro Committee can reveal a series of leaked emails that expose a bitter feud building between two of the teams entered at this year’s Harrow Vinduro.

Husqvarna NSW and Team Wales have embarked upon a war of words that threatens to bring the entire vinduro movement into disrepute. (As per the supplementary regulations, no mud-slinging is to occur before 9.01am on Sunday 29 July).

The emails also reveal a devious scheme to pass off a superior Suzuki PE as an inferior Husqvarna. 

The Victorian Vinduro Committee is investigating this situation with all of the gravity it deserves. In the meantime, in the interests of public safety the offending emails have been reprinted below. 

**********************************************

From: RS

Sent: Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Subject: Harrow Vinduro, Team Husky NSW

Hey W & J

Peter Drakeford has informed me you are on the Husky NSW team for Harrow. Welcome aboard, we did real well last year with two gold and one silver should have been three gold but Smithy ran out of gas...

What t-shirt size are you? And check out the attached number plate decals that will be on our bikes. They should be ready this week. Let me know your mailing address and I will send your decal set.

Looking forward to the event, as its one of the best rides on the calendar...

RS

**********************************************

From: JR

Sent: Thursday, 12 July 2012

Subject: Harrow Vinduro, Team Husky NSW

Hey RS,

Thanks for the email.

Mate, my PE and I would be proud to be on your all conquering team for the 2012 Harrow vinduro providing we can come to some arrangement on the following two points:

1. Team Husky has to join in a blood oath to run team Wales into the Harrow mud at all costs to man and machine.

2. No man of Team Husky can rest until all members of Team Wales are, incapacitated, in hospital or dead.

My t-shirt size is pie eater, and I can pick up those stickers from you at the event.

Regards

JR

**********************************************

From: RS

Sent: Thursday, 12 July 2012

Subject: Harrow Vinduro, Team Husky NSW

That's a deal and if there are any Romans there we can get them also.

Regards

RS

**********************************************

From: WL

Sent: Friday, 13 July 2012

Subject: Harrow Vinduro, Team Husky NSW

Gents

I'm not one to shy away from a fight but I've often wondered what can go wrong in a friendship that can turn perfectly good mates (as witnessed at Rockley) into sworn enemies? Is it religion, geography or something else?

In any case I'm up for the fight; I think we should take that WMD rider out straight away.

Secondly, your email below Reeksy has confirmed a rumour that I heard a long time ago: that PEs were really re-badged Huskys.

Regards

WL

**********************************************

From: RS
Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2012
Subject: Harrow Vinduro, Team Husky NSW

My sentiments exactly.

Our team jackets are looking so cool.

They are going to the embroiderer today to have a reduced version similar to your number plate decal including rider number put on the front left side and centre back just below the collar.

I believe the Team Wales logo is actually a "beached whale" and I understand that Green Peace and the Rainbow Warrior shall be manning the creek crossings in case of any intentional  beaching. As we are all aware all things Wales/Whales have propensity for beaching.

I think your right about the re-badging Wayne, I have an idea and just so happens we have some Husky decals in the shed.

Regards

RS

**********************************************

From: JR
Date: Friday, 13 Jul 2012
Subject: Harrow Vinduro, Team Husky NSW

Fellow soldiers

It's all about state pride. I feel it is our duty as fellow New South Wales men to send these over confident Welsh back to where they came from. True this mighty state bares reference to bygone ancestors from Wales but let me tell you comrades, times have changed.

A line has been drawn in the sand and from here we stake our pride and the future respect of generations to come.

I've got a feeling this day will go down in history as the day New South Wales began the fight to remove the Wales. Gentlemen the battle draws near. Don't forget what's at stake. New South Wales will soon become New South.

JR

**********************************************

From: SB
Date: Friday, 13 July 2012
Subject: Embroidery?

Dear NSW Husky Sewing Team,

Just want to clear a few things up, but while you bunch of misfits are getting sewing lessons on your Huskys this is not a patch work quilting weekend, however you should get some cushions made as you are going to have sore arses after the ride because of the kicking you are going to get from the Welsh team and it’s a long drive home back to New South WALES! I wouldn’t change your addresses just yet. The only thing you are going to need a harpoon for is to jam in our wheels to stop us overtaking you or to tie to the back of our bikes so that we can tow you round as that is the only hope, of you guys getting any medals.

And the final nail in your collective coffins, sorry needle in your sewing boxes, is how many laps do you think you will have to do in order to get a medal compared to the Welsh?! Hell, I think we only have to start our bikes for gold as I have the only part that Mr Drakfallov requires for his Jawa and it would be terrible for me to mislay it before Harrow...

Over to Mr Drakfallov on how he thinks team Husky Sewing NSW will go. Alternatively I believe there is a quilting convention up at the central coast that weekend save yourselves the trip and go and finish your jackets look forward to reading all about it in Women’s Day.

Yours Sincerely

Team Wales

**********************************************

None of the parties concerned was available for comment, and the mysterious Mr Drakfallov’s phone appears to have been disconnected.  Stay tuned for further updates as this drama unfolds.