The recently exposed war of words between Team Wales and the Husqvarna NSW team continues to sink to new depths. To make matters worse, the shadowy Mr Drakfallov has emerged from his bunker with a stream of rhetoric that makes it clear that for him the cold war never ended...
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From: RS
Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
I have just received this leaked photo from the Team Wales CAMP and advice hot off the presses that the Welsh lads will be attired in DJ's late season winter release. "Rumour has it”, that will it be something in wool of course, with a distinct chic modern upbeat feel.
Note: the chic little holder for the time/course card and the little leather hip hydration flask , coupled with the outstanding pink woven lanyard for the flare gun for the inevitable loss in the wilderness , this garment will make the Welsh lads very hard to beat in the fashion stakes.
We trust this information is sufficient for your needs. Please give me a call if you have any questions.
Thank You.
RS
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From: SB **********************************************
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
Dear Capt Patchwork and your fellow quilters
I think you have us mixed up with comrade Drakov's Cheq team the Welsh could never look that cool But it is good to see the cheq team have a tow rope around their necks to pull those Jawas out of the mud just hope they tie the rope around the bikes and not leave it around their necks hate to pull there neck and heads off , there will be nowhere to hang there bronze medals!
Kind Regards
S "Hobbit" Baker-Jones
Ambassodor for Welsh relations with Ozxtralia and NOW Chequeislavacula
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From: Petr Drakfallov
Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
To all Imperialist Running Dogs:
General Release and Warning.
We of the Glorious and Multi Victorious Czech Team wish to emphasise our total superiority over the curmudgeon Welsh and neophyte NS Welsh Teams as well as the running dog French and Canadian Teams.
We only state that the starting of your ill-fated teams minutes before the all conquering Czech Soviet Socialist Team will only supply us with traction as we trample you under foot in the bogs of Harrow.
As we have not indulged on this vainglorious self serving boasting until now and only under extreme provocation do we resort to stating that all other girly-boy entrants have no hope in either the presentation/coaching stakes as we have the services of a 3 times World Champ on Czech machinery advising us on riding technique and sartorial headwear. (See pic below)
Yours in furthering the Cold War.
Comrade Drakfallov.
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From: RS Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
My good Comrade Drakfallov
We wish you and your pet or may we call it "hat" good tidings, may the sun shine on you , we hope you always have the wind at your back and you survive your quest.
See attached your opposition and be wary of the number 2B, double vision but different views, such trickery prevails.
RS
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From: Petr Drakfallov
Sent: 19 July 2012
Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
Dear Well Intentioned Capitalist Pretty Boy.
While the 'handsomeness' of the Svedish Huskybannana is common knowledge and the special adornments are laudatory I wish to say that the rugged functionality of Jawa indestructibles will out.
As a sop to the other entrants we are commissioning pretty stickers (see pic) to cheer up the poor and hopelessly vanquished.
Victory to the CSSR. Glory to all Comrades on Team Czech.
Commisionar for Inter- Personal and Team Relations
Comrade Drakfallov
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From: RS
Sent: 19 July 2012
Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
Salutations Comrade,
We commend you on the event decals; we look forward to our great team and the others being adorned by such things.
Thank you for your compliments, however we are forever cautious of pretty words, compliments, trickery and gifts of trinkets.
Power to the CSSR. Glory to all Comrades on Team Czech and we look forward to the ensuing battle.
RS
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From: WL
Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
Comrade Drakfallov
Another pretty Husky-banana ready for battle, but don’t be fooled by the good looks, it is made of real metal from men dressed in neat but functional uniforms who eat pickled herring for breakfast!
You will note that this shows the bike in the rested suspension position, which I’m sure you’re aware, will provide extra spring to cross bog holes in a single bound.
The Welsh were never going to achieve Gold, but now with reduced numbers aren’t even in the race for gold. It’s now up Team Czech and perhaps the gentle persons of the French Team to provide some sort of resistance. What happened to the Welsh?
PS I hate mud. Have the Austar weather channel set to Harrow
Regards
WL
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From: SB
Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
Breaking News!
The Welsh have successfully recruited a new member for its team we are happy to announce that the very welsh Christian Cahill Jones who we think will be the key to our success in the Bogs of Harrow!
I'm glad that you Husky boys are showing us the front number plates as I don’t want our team getting a sore neck looking back all the time.
Never count the Welsh out.
Regards Team Wales
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From: RS
Sent: 19 July 2012
Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
That’s good news, when the Welsh Captain takes advice from the Captain of the Husqvarna team and as suggested, recruited a current ally, KC, member of last year’s Husqvarna team and currently riding the Husqvarna brand.
Isn’t it ironic that the Welsh would have a team Husqvarna rider on staff?
RS
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From: SB
Sent: 19 July 2012
Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
Capt Patch work and Quilters
What you have failed to realize is that killer Cahill-Jones was planted by team Wales last year to gather information on the inner workings of Team husky sewing we soon came to the conclusion that the only plan they had was a plan for making matching jackets for the following year I guess we will see if there plan has come to fruition. So how ironic is it, that Team Patchwork would have a Team Wales rider on its staff!
Regards
Team Wales
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From: RS
Sent: 20 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
That’s espionage.
RS
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From: RS
Sent: 20 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
Press Release
Team Wales are getting ready to release their team badge / logo for this year's Harrow International Vinduro.
The word on the street is that there seems to be some heated discussions among the rugged Welsh riding team regarding selection of the team's logo for this year's event
The buzz word is "controversy", the Captain is pushing for the togetherness /”we are one” theme , whereas the lad's would like to stick with the tried and tested Whales logo.
Rumour has it, that CZ /Jawa team are feeling "old" and vulnerable and have hatched a scheme and enlisted a decoy rider to distract us around the course. Some teams will stop at nothing to get one of the glorious teams’ trophies.
One week to go
RS
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From: SB
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Press release:
The Welsh Team Have just announced that Killer Cahill Jones will be riding a Bultaco 125 Lobito (Spanish translation = “lone wolf”, Welsh Translation = “big dick”)!
When asked for comment Killer Cahill Jones said after riding with Capt Patch Work and Comrade Drakaflov last year he felt that he had to give the opposing teams a sporting chance, When Mr "Hobbit" Baker-Jones was asked his reply was bugger that we will not be taking any prisoners, but later added he felt confident that Killer Cahill Jones riding the Big Dick would have no problem navigating the perilous river and the quicksand-like bogs with a gold medal performance.
S "Hobbit" Baker-Jones
From: Petr Drakfallov
Sent: 19 July 2012
Sent: 19 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
Curse you all seeing Svedish hand wringer, our glorious plan has been exposed! We were saving the blond for our personal use 'en route' but now you capitalist dogs may beat us to her. Let the fastest get the golden blond er... Medal,. As for the bike, we can loan one to Welsh Team unfortunate Cahill.
Yours in old world trickery
Comrade Dakfallov
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From: WL Mr Baker Jones
Sent: 22 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
It would appear that the rivalry goes back almost 30 years...
Just found some footage of the Welsh ISDE in 82 (but looks more like 83/4) where the Welsh seem preoccupied with Husqvarna and Jawa. It shows the Welsh gravitating around Husqvarna teams obviously looking for machine set up tips; rider tips anything that can improve their performance. Even the Czech team get a mention and show off their latest invention 'the people's almost a shaft drive' fully enclosed chain, then the Aussies are in focus on Husqvarna of course.
There appears to be some controversy in the Welsh camp over what team and bikes will be competing with one Welsh gent favouring the Matchless whilst other MTK etc etc. One thing's for sure every Welsh person, sponsor, accessory manufacturer is named Jones. What will the Welsh team ride at Harrow and what will they be dressed in: pudding basin helmets? Waxed cotton jackets? And what of their logo? Only a few days to go...
Regards
WL
Sent: 20 July 2012
Subject: Official Welsh team uniform
