Well, the 2012 Harrow Vinduro may be over but apparently hostilities between some of the teams are not!
The latest round of leaked emails reveals a deeply embedded enmity that does not bode well for future events.
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From: JR
Sent: 31 July 2012
Subject: Harrow update
Gentlemen and the Welsh,
Well what a weekend, some may say what a golden weekend, the Welsh may not agree but who really cares? Firstly I dip my Bell Moto helmet to our chief commander Shoey. A faultless preparation of man and weaponry had the enemy shaking in their hi-point boots well before their minute.
Shoey’s first master move was to get the embroidered victory jackets. It goes without saying this opening salvo put the opposition on their back foot from the get go. The enemy’s response of buying low quality jackets from a St Vincent de Paul charity shop were almost gallant, but ultimately were akin to firing a .22 rifle at the Bismarck.
For me Shoey, your most defining moment was how you conducted yourself after you had been taken down in a truly despicable event that contravenes the Geneva Convention rules of engagement. God only knows the level the Welsh may sink to, but to have a undercover agent throw a large unforgiving rock under your front wheel is indefensible. It is a testament to the man you are Shoey that you literally took it on your chin and soldiered on. I have also been made aware that on your final charge through enemy lines, you gathered fallen and broken civilians and enemy soldiers and carried them back to Parc Ferme even though you were at your limit just to make it back yourself. It was a Simpson and his donkey kind of moment (no disrespect to your Husky intended).
To you our commander I recommend the VC award to you.
Wayne, our sergeant of arms, always dependable always gallant and never tiring. I open my Belstaff in a manly kind of way for you my friend. Your faultless performance in keeping a rear guard on my forward attack prevented the enemy getting anywhere near us. And resupplying the forward attack with supplies to continue on assured us victory.
To you I recommend the star of gallantry.
So for now we may all enjoy the spoils of war. Team members I raise my glass towards you, savour this joyous moment, taste the bitterness of our enemy, delight in the disgrace of the Welsh, embrace the disrespect the Czechs have shown us, engage the French arrogance, for this will only make us stronger till we next meet.
Victory is ours and ours alone.
May the golden jacket remain in custody of the mighty New South Wales Husky team from here on in. After all, the jacket does fit you like a glove Shoey.
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From: SB
Sent: 31 July 2012
Subject: Harrow update
The Welsh humbly except defeat on this occasion and you may all bask in your moment of victory in the sun, however after chatting with the other members of the welsh team we feel you victory was a Bradbury moment and you were able to take advantage of our misfortune so in hindsight you may have won the battle but you didn't win the war. Only 361 sleeps before we meet again. Be scared, be very, very scared.
Team Wales
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From: RS
Sent: 2 August 2012
Subject: Harrow update
“Damn , help . Someone bring me a Husky.”
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From: SB
Sent: 2 August 2012
Subject: Harrow update
I was waiting for that photo to surface! Damn!
Breaking News
Team Wales mascot found dead in Northern Beaches Swimming pool foul play suspected, no one is pointing the finger yet but the Japanese and French have been mentioned!
Team Wales
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From: PK
Sent: 4 August 2012
Subject: Harrow update
Mon dieu! M. Baker attempts to shift the blame for the reprehensible neglect and treatment of their own mascot! Such low morals to use, abuse and discard but, not unexpected. I suspect that there is a connection between one who is employed in the food industry and the high value of whale meat at present. Team France is currently embroiled in 'discussions' with the commissar of the Czech national enduro team regarding issues of SABOTAGE of J-C's ride.
Team Wales have also been implicated. Beware! This may end nuclear. You all have been warned. And to those of you who enjoy the dubiously attained spoils of victory, the French have the last word - you enjoy champagne at your celebrations ce n'est pas?
Team France. Vive!
